Stay Cool! God Bless

{February 27, 2007}   My Love…..

My friend shared this photo with me, and I felt it would go with what I am about to write.

A few people in my life have been stating phrases like, "You will love him always because of the boys," "He will always be apart of your life because of the boys," "Work it out for the boys," and simuliar things to that nature.  My Love for Darrell was never based on the boys.  I love him before the boys came along.  The boys never affected my love for Darrell.  I will always love Darrell for Darrell, and the love God placed in my heart for him as his wife and as the mother of his children.  Mostly because God loves Darrell just as much as he love me, God has given me a heart for him.  The day of my divorce, 14 Feb 07, I ended that day in church asking God, "What now?"  I will share with you the scriptures he revealed to me, Joel 2:18-27, you talk about a hit in the face.  Then the next Sunday, keep in mind Valentines was well over, Sunday it the sermon was about marriage and submission, not only to GOD but the husband.  Darrell knows, I tried to put him in the place as head of the home, but he never took it.  Others at our church saw it too. 

I may not be able to predict the future, but I can say this.  This divorce is NOT what GOD wanted from the get go, nor does he want it now.  Technically we are still married until the paper is drawn up, Darrell and I review it to sign it, and then the Judge reviews it to sign.  Anyway, GOD does want to restore our marriage and home, but if Darrell DOES NOT Allow God to do this.  God will restore me and the boys to where we will not have that void, whole in our heart.  Last night I read Joel 2:18-27 again, but was also asking about Darrell in my prayer and noticed scriptures 2:12-14.  All I know is that GOD is STILL working for HIS intial intent.  Like I said in an earlier blog, it was wierd how the book of Joel popped into my thoughts on the 14th of Feb, Wednesday night service.  The pastor was not speaking about anything relating to those scriptures.  Yes, I studied the Old Testiment in college, and have even dedicated my personal time in His word in the Old Testiment, but I never read that book before.  If I had, I forgot about it.

Anyway, because of the boys, Darrell and I do still have to communicate.  I hope and pray that we can with peace and kindness.


{February 24, 2007}   The Wind is Strong Today

This is a Valentine Card Matt made me at school, awe! For those of you who would have wanted a school photo, I didn’t buy any the first time, but will hopefully be able to buy them the second time around. I never buy them the first time around anyway. Plus money has been tight. The photo Matt has here was the courteous copy.

When he first started school, he would only use one color. He would just scribble. Later he would color in the lines, sometimes ending up scribbling over it anyway, but with one color. Now look at him. He has a great teacher, she is very patient not only with Matt, but with all the children. Matt has not only improved with his homework, but at writing his name too.  I wish I had added work from earlier in the year, but I didn’t.

Chris is doing well. He has costed me a fortune in School Fees with Band alone. This week another $49, oh well he is worth it. He will be turning 14 soon and has a big party planned with his father. They will have a sleep over at a hotel for all the boys to swim and hang out on Friday. Saturday a cookout with cake and ice-cream and open presents. Followed by paintball fun, later ending at the skating ring. WOW! Another sleep over Saturday night. Sunday, I will hopefully be able to treat the boys to pizza for lunch and the party is officially over after that.

Well, this divorce is not God’s choice or original intent for our family, but the perks for the children are out of this world. Darrell goes way out to make up for not being here on a daily basis. I am glad he can do this, because financially he has left me in a drawning state, but with all of your prayers and MY Faith, God will pull us through.


{February 17, 2007}   Hmmmmm
Now that I am free, I still have no desire to go out on the town.  Nor do I have a desire to find
someone new.  I have a few friends that say the right thing and give me the reassurance I need as a female.    Thank you.
Matt is still sort a ill.  He is begining to get his energy back.
Chris is doing great.  I spoke to him today on the phone.  He is with his father this weekend.
I need to do homework, but with Matt wanting my every moment it is hard.  In the last 1 hour and a half, like I said he is begining to get his energy back, so now maybe I can stay up late working on my class.

{February 14, 2007}   Happy Valentine’s Day
Today was pleasant.  It turned out better than I thought it would.
Court all day.  Later Wednesday Night service at GTAG.
It snowed today.  I couldn’t believe it.  The weather is crazy lately.

{February 11, 2007}   My sons
Well, Matt is a good little helper.  He likes to help me clean.  Chris does too.  I am glad he has not grown out of that.
Chris is chatting with new people all the time.  There is a girl he tends to talk about alot these last few days.  Her name is Shayna.  She lives in OKC.  He meet her at the skating ring one night.  He said he has meet 3 girls in the OKC area.  Then yesterday at the salon.  This is normal for his age.  I don’t expect him to get tied down, not for a long long time.  Hopefully, after he is out of college.
Pray that my boys will stay focused on their relationship to the Lord first and to me and their dad and then everyone else. 
We had a no chore weekend.  Of course we will pay the price tomorrow.  Got to run…homework to do.

{February 11, 2007}   Our Visit to the Salon
I have so much to say, but I can’t share everything all at once.  No one likes to read a long story, right?  LOL
The boys are wonderful, both are big flirts.  Today, we were in Whachamacallit for our monthly haircuts.  Both had the women eating out of thier hands.   For a while anyway, then their true colors come out.  Matt is loud and busy, and Chris is annoying.  I think everyone was happy when we left.  Haaahaaha
Amii, you look great.  Thanks for being a wonderful stylists. 
Chris, I think behaved the way he did because there was another teen that caught his eye.  He can be annoying when he thinks he is being cool.  But aren’t all men?  LOL  grrrrrr.
I remember Darrell being like that, but I liked it.  I guess there wasn’t much about Darrell that I didn’t like.  Well that part of my life is over.  I will continue to pray about God’s will and purpose for me and my two boys, but Darrell doesn’t seem to want to lay down his life for God’s will to be done.  He wants his own will to be done.
All of us are making great grades in school.  The baseball schedule has been released and Chris will have another band residal before the end of the year.
Matt is about to graduate into the Royal Rangers category at church on Wednesday nights.  Pete says, "I am ready for him.  I don’t think Matt is ready for me."
Chris has joined the drama team with the youth.  The adults have a drama team too, but I am to chicken.  Matt is in the Jr. Kids group on Sunday mornings and they do all kinds of stuff.
Well this ended up to be more than you bargined for, hunh?  More than a visit to the salon aye?
Sorry. 🙂

{February 7, 2007}   My wonderful kidos.

Last night, Chris and the rest of the band in the JH & HS section played at the HS’s last Basketball game for the season. The color guard from Altus was there too. It was awesome.

This is Duke’s first year to have a band period. Mrs. Huey is great with all age groups. They all are playing as if they played for years.

Matt is Matt. What can I say. 🙂 He begining to hand write his letters better, I think. His coloring is good if I sit with him. Otherwise he starts off okay, but ends up scribbling. He goes around telling everyone at church he can tie his shoes. He will literally un-tie them, so he can re-tie them to show people. It is so cute. His father bought him a V-tech, his very own game system he says. I heard him tell someone in his class tonight, "it not my brother’s old one." It was cute.

The day is coming nearer. The day of either freedom or doom. I can’t believe it. One day I had a wonderful marriage, better than I could ever imagine, and then within a few weeks he was gone. It is so unreal. I wonder if there will ever be anyone else. I love Darrell in spite of his faults, so who ever it is will have to top him. 🙂

Darrell, I always thought you were the greatest. I miss you, but with God’s help, I will survive. I hope and pray from someone just as good or better than yourself. :-X

et cetera