Stay Cool! God Bless

{February 27, 2007}   My Love…..

My friend shared this photo with me, and I felt it would go with what I am about to write.

A few people in my life have been stating phrases like, "You will love him always because of the boys," "He will always be apart of your life because of the boys," "Work it out for the boys," and simuliar things to that nature.  My Love for Darrell was never based on the boys.  I love him before the boys came along.  The boys never affected my love for Darrell.  I will always love Darrell for Darrell, and the love God placed in my heart for him as his wife and as the mother of his children.  Mostly because God loves Darrell just as much as he love me, God has given me a heart for him.  The day of my divorce, 14 Feb 07, I ended that day in church asking God, "What now?"  I will share with you the scriptures he revealed to me, Joel 2:18-27, you talk about a hit in the face.  Then the next Sunday, keep in mind Valentines was well over, Sunday it the sermon was about marriage and submission, not only to GOD but the husband.  Darrell knows, I tried to put him in the place as head of the home, but he never took it.  Others at our church saw it too. 

I may not be able to predict the future, but I can say this.  This divorce is NOT what GOD wanted from the get go, nor does he want it now.  Technically we are still married until the paper is drawn up, Darrell and I review it to sign it, and then the Judge reviews it to sign.  Anyway, GOD does want to restore our marriage and home, but if Darrell DOES NOT Allow God to do this.  God will restore me and the boys to where we will not have that void, whole in our heart.  Last night I read Joel 2:18-27 again, but was also asking about Darrell in my prayer and noticed scriptures 2:12-14.  All I know is that GOD is STILL working for HIS intial intent.  Like I said in an earlier blog, it was wierd how the book of Joel popped into my thoughts on the 14th of Feb, Wednesday night service.  The pastor was not speaking about anything relating to those scriptures.  Yes, I studied the Old Testiment in college, and have even dedicated my personal time in His word in the Old Testiment, but I never read that book before.  If I had, I forgot about it.

Anyway, because of the boys, Darrell and I do still have to communicate.  I hope and pray that we can with peace and kindness.


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