Stay Cool! God Bless

{November 26, 2008}   Coping With A Broken Heart

You can tell when the enemy is tempting you, or at least I can.  I have not gone out to the clubs, nor to a pub.  I haven’t gone any where to hang out, you know the places singles go to meet other singles, nope I have not gone.  But it seems the men have just come out of the wood work, literally.  Some old, some new, but I have not fallen for the tricks.  Nope I do not even have an online dating profile.  I thought about it at first when Jase broken it off with me by telling me he is dating someone else and didn’t think it was right to continue to talk to me.  At first I was angry, why didn’t he show me that kind of respect when it was he and I.  Then I realized that may be I was just a friend to him and nothing more.  Funny how a girl can take a certain behavior from a guy and read more into it.  I do love him, nor do I understand why.  I think about our friendship and ….well who knows what God is up to.  That darn free will tends to take us down different paths, but I choose to stay faithful to the Son and the Father. ( Jesus and God Almighty)  In the book of John chapter 14, is where you will find Jesus telling us that the Father will send the Counselor as his representative meaning the Holy Spirit.  He will teach us everything and will remind us of everything Jesus has said. 

We are to worship the Father in spirit and in truth.  Through the Holy Spirit Jesus will guide me.

(NLT) John 16:13-14 "When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.  He will not be presenting his own ideas; he will be telling you what he has heard.  He will tell you about the future.  He will bring me glory by revealing to you whatever he receives from me."

(NAS) John 16-13-14 "But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.  He shall glorify Me; for He shall take of Mine, and shall disclose it to you."

I like how Jesus says right after this that all things the Father has are His, and how the Holy Spirit takes of His and will disclose it to me, to you, to all who believe. 

Hearing the Voice of the Lord is not easy and as Pastor Franklin says, "discerning the voice of God takes practice."  I tell you the enemy has tried to make me feel like and idiot or a fool, but I do not.  I still believe in my heart that I will move and my house will sale, but all in His timing.  I still believe that Jase was one Jesus brought across my path.  I could see wonderful things happening in both our lives, mostly the wonderful things Christ could have done through our uniting.  But we are given free will.  Jesus will not force anyone to obey or submit or to follow or to believe.  Jesus will still be in Jase’s life and in my life.  He will still live through us for we belong to Him.  He will still use me to teach the kids in Sunday school and Jase to teach the youth, of course at two different churches.  I knew from the beginning of our friendship back in 2006 that the enemy was hard at work in keeping our friendship at a distance.  Later in 2008, earlier this year, when our friendship began to get close, I failed to recognize the enemy stepping into to cause a wall between us.  A wall that has not only prevented us from becoming closer to eachother, but has even seemed to break the friendship entirely.  Was it our own free will and our own human sinfulness or was it a trick the enemy used to tear apart what God was bring together?  All I know is this.  My future is in His hands.  Only God has the power to break that wall, to open the door of communication between us, and to fill the emptiness in my heart.  I can only get my self-worth from my Creator, not any man on this earth.  I know I sit hear today with every sin wiped away and hold no bitterness or hardship against anyone who has hurt me, betrayed me, or even those who continue to seek to hurt me.  I live to glorify the Lord, and in that must remain obedient and faithful.  Yes, I may fail, but I try not to.  Also the reason I stay in a repentance state, recognizing where and when I fail learning what I must learn turning to Jesus with a repentant heart.

Luke 11:2-4 "He said, "This is how you should pray: ‘Father, may your name be honored .  May your Kingdom come soon.  Give us our food day by day.  And forgive us our sins, just as we forgive those who have sinned against us.  And don’t let us yield to temptation.’"

I am content and joyful, not necessarily jumping with glee but joyful for I know He is with me.


{November 22, 2008}   A Merry Heart, Joyful Heart

JOY Is a fruit of the Spirit.

A brother in Christ, Sam, from my connections group at church loaned me one of his DVDs this past Sunday.  Now, I did not ask, nor was I expecting him to just walk up to me and say, "here watch this."  I recognized the speaker, Dr. Jesse Duplantis, and remarked, "Oh I like him, he is great."  Anyway this DVD was given to me long before all the disappointments that later followed this past week.

This past week, I had 3 blows, or in baseball what is known as 3 strikes your out.  But as KJ-52 says, "to all you out there who thought I would fall and crumble and walk away from JESUS, here is a big fat ‘God Bless You.’"  Anyway, this DVD entitled "A Merry Heart Doeth Good Like A Medicine Volume 1".  This DVD has combined clips of Jesse Duplantis and his speaking throughout a few years.   Clips from previous lessons or sermons to bring humor along with a message in sharing the Spirit of God.  This was the medicine my heart needed due to all the disappoints I received this past week.

As Jesse Duplantis says, "You have to embarrass sin, before it embarrasses you."  I agree and have often said, " You have to look sin in the face and deal with it.  In order to maintain a redemptive heart, by repentance."

{November 21, 2008}   Joy

Joy comes in knowing the power we have through the Holy Spirit.  His spirit. 

The devil is out to seek, kill, and destroy our lives in every area.  He has tried to make me look the fool and tried to cause me to walk away from Jesus.  BUT it isn’t happening.  Most recently I have been waiting on 3 things to come through, but they did not.  1) the house to sale 2) my relationship with a friend, Jase, to become more 3) this big interview I had this past week to result in a new position.  Neither of these things happened.  But I am still walking with JESUS and Trusting in Him.  I stomp on the devil by giving Thanks unto the Lord in Jesus Name.

I know that the Lord is with me and in me.  I know he will not forsake me.  In His timing I will have a new position, this house will have an offer or I will be able to stay, and I will find a new mate.  My friend is dating and I am happy for him.  At least I know and I don’t have to wonder anymore.  We were not in a position to date anyway with me living 2 hours from him.  He is a good man.  I pray one day God blesses me with someone like Jase maybe with the added character, understanding and compassion.  I know in His timing according to His will all will be provided.

In fact just recently I went to pay my phone bill at the phone company.  I hadn’t received a statement but knew it was due.  I got there and they thought I had paid a substantial amount on my bill in Oct.  I made one of the two payments mentioned, but where did this other mysterious payment come from.  When I shared this earlier today with my friend Edie, she states it was not her.  Her and her husband, Ron, had helped me back in September with something else, but this just goes to show How miracles do happen.

Oh then there is my medication.  Very expensive.  I was stubborn and refused to take meds for 4 weeks, but the weather began to affect my breathing.  Perhaps this was another way the Lord could shine not only to a few that know me, but now via this blog. Either way, in late September I asked my pastor for help pertaining to two different meds, but one was real expensive so I told him not to worry, about that one.  He out of his own pocket paid for one of the two.  The other, well a few weeks later I forked out the money and bought 2 weeks worth.  $208 for 2 weeks and that was with a discount.  Well, shortly after I receive this box from UPS with 3 months worth of this particular med.  I didn’t realize the box had come.  It was during fall break, my oldest was down visiting and my youngest at school.  I had driven to the school to pick up my youngest and my oldest put the white box on the floor out of the way.  Then later or the next day, I can’t remember exactly, but we were all three walking in from going somewhere and I freaked thinking someone had been in my house.  My oldest explained that it had arrived via UPS while picking up Matt from school.  I opened it and saw the medication.  I was scared to look at the bill.  It was sent via a company who distributes home medications for asthma.  The bill said $0, I immediately began to thank HIM and praise HIM.  I told my pastor about it and a few people, but I just hadn’t blogged it, I don’t think.  Anyway, I was woken up in the middle of the night and felt the need to go dig up the letter and bill to show my pastor as a way of proving it.   Anyway when I pulled the paperwork out of a box where I had it stored for moving.  I read the letter as I scanned it in to email my pastor rather then waiting until the next day to drive it to him.  I went to sleep 5 minutes after this email.  Just think right before getting up to do this, I had been woken up and tossing and turning for an hour.  As I read it, the letter stated I had a full year of supply.  WOW.  At NO cost.  WOW WOW.  PRAISE GOD.  GLORY is all HIS.

So you see, me not having a job offer yet, an offer on the home yet, or Jase not available anymore, these things are not going to steal my faith in HIM.  I do love Jase, and although I had written many blogs on how I thought he was the one, the enemy has a way to destroy if we allow him.  Who knows perhaps I became too clingy, too wishy washy due to insecurities I have in the area of relationships, who knows.  I was wrong.  No reason to feel as though I am a fool or unworthy.  I know who the fool is that is Satan.  I am worthy because my creator does not make worthless things. 😀  I do not know what the future holds.  I do not know where I might move or where I might work or when I may find real love, but I DO know I LOVE JESUS.  HE will take care of me as He has done all my life.  He knows the desires and ambitions and ideals I have, HE put them in me.

Therefore I am at this very moment content being alone, I have peace in my Heart, and I am filled with Joy with a smile on my face.

{November 13, 2008}   Chapter 7: Wait On The Lord

I apologize for neglecting the study on this book.  I have read this entire book.  It is wonderful.  I have just been so busy with preparing my house for sale.  Seeking a new position and preparing a move.

Well this chapter obviously discuss our ability to be patient and wait.  Not a strong suit of mine.

Isaiah 28:16 "Whoever believes will not act hastily."

Funny how this chapter begins.  He talks about being ashamed to tell people from where he comes from.  I used to be like this to the tenth degree.  I am still sort of, to be truthful, but not so much, maybe to the third degree. 😀  There has been a lot of pain in my life.  I have learned a lesson through each one.  Jesus has held my hand, at other times carried me, and still with me always in the good and bad times.  That is comfort all by itself.  To add to it, He has blessed me in ways that just makes my relationship with him so real and it is true what his word says about how He provides, how He cares and loves us.

It takes time to develop a relationship with another human being.  No doubt in that.  In all aspects of life, the Lord will call us to wait.  When he does, we must listen, no matter how hard the wait is.  I am going through a waiting period now.  Hey, this is how wonderful the Lord works.  I read this chapter a month or more ago, but did not blog it.  I was not going through a waiting period then and now I am.  Hunh. The reality of how real He is to me.  Anyway, He has asked me to do something that took a lot of courage.  I felt as a fool doing it, but did it anyway.  The person I was told to tell a message too didn’t seem to take fully what I was saying, and I was so nervous that I couldn’t get it out.  So I thought, Lord I tried, but the conversation did not go as expected and ended short.  The next day I was in a facetious mood.  By the second day passing, I woke with a burden to attempt giving the message again.  When the Holy Spirit lays a message on your heart, it just won’t go away until it has been delivered.  So I called and this time left a voice message.  The message was blunt and clear to the point. The burden was then gone.  Now I feel as though I am in a waiting period.  Not easy, but I must be obedient.  I pray the wait is not too long. 😀

Then there is the waiting period for my house to sale and my new position to start.  Oh and the waiting period to move and begin a new life in a new place in a new city and a new church.  WOW, the waiting period I am going through. But in the end, I know and trust Christ is at work, and believe He is preparing the way.  As Pastor Franklin states, "We can get into trouble when we don’t train ourselves to wait on the Lord."

"…Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles." Isaiah 40:31

"Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!" Psalm 27:14

Confidence, courage, and endurance becomes stronger when we wait on the Lord.  We are able to face those Goliaths that come into our lives. I like how Pastor Franklin associates our trials with the giant Goliath.  I have an old, old blog on another site from a  couple of years ago during a period I felt I was in a huge battle and was facing a Goliath in my life.  I look back, I am thankful to see I felt as David and not Saul.  Even today I have Goliaths in and out of my life.  Sometimes I feel as though I am a ‘David’ and at other times feel as though I am a ‘Saul’.  One thing I have noticed, which confirms what this chapter’s message is, which is the times where I tried to make things happen by NOT letting go and letting God, I felt like a Saul.  During the times like right now, when I am letting go and letting God, I have peace, confidence, and an assurance all will go according to His will.  In that I will come out doing great with a more bolder courage and longer endurance.

et cetera